


Guardian Angel

by PettyMess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Other, it depends on how emotionally weak you are, its not really a relationship thing, maybe angst?, maybe fluff?, okay so listen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 14:32:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13953612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PettyMess/pseuds/PettyMess
Summary: Sugawara Koushi had died young. Sugawara Koushi knew it was unfair that people died with all their life ahead of them, and so he chose to become a guardian angel who would watch people throughout their lives, whispering suggestions for these people to make the right decisions. Unluckily for him, Sugawara Koushi had been assigned to guard over Sawamura Daichi, a boy notoriously good, but notoriously bad at taking care of himself.





	Guardian Angel

_ Angel de mi guarda, dulce compañía _

_ No me desampares ni de noche ni de día _

 

 

“Daichi!” A boy trotted away from his house into the street, following a ball. A pale hand reached for his small body, slowing him down just in time to let a car speed by centimeters from him. “Thank goodness. I’ll be here to help you, but don’t be so careless, okay?” The small boy looked up before being swiped off the ground.

 

“You’re going to worry me sick!” The toddler’s hand reached back to where the ball had rolled, but he couldn’t see it. “Mommy, a really pretty boy saved me.” She put him down with a sigh. Smiling, she asked about the boy. “He has a really pretty smile! Really soft eyes and light hair! He was big!!” She laughed, thinking her son adorable, before giving him the ball that had rolled to her feet. “Go play, now.”

 

“Sawamura!” At twenty-one years of age, Sawamura Daichi studied to become a doctor. The late nights he would stay up to study coupled with the poor nutrition he received forced him to depend on medicine and coffee to remain awake and with a semblance of health. Despite the dark circles around his eyes and the constant thinning of his figure, however, he still had something about him that made it impossible for others to ignore his presence. He had innate leadership qualities; he was charismatic, understanding, and seemed to be wise beyond his years. Above all that, it was as if he had a white light of warmth always surrounding him. 

This white, warm light had a name: Sugawara Koushi. He had died years ago at the unfortunate age of nineteen. Upon dying, he had chosen to become a guardian angel to protect children who couldn’t protect themselves. For twenty-one years he had watched over Daichi, being the voice in his head that made him avoid dangerous situations, being the light behind him that enchanted so many people, encouraging him when he was grasping for straws. Twenty-one years is a long time to spend with a person. He had seen Daichi when he took his first steps and when he mumbled his first word. He had seen Daichi enter school and seen him fall countless times when running around. He was there when Daichi graduated from high school, he had known all of Daichi’s friends, and now he saw how much effort the young man put into studying for others’ sake. Sugawara Koushi had heard the man repeat, “I must help my family,” when he needed motivation to read one more page, write one more paragraph. He was there when Daichi decided to become a doctor not for the money, but to see the patient’s and their family’s relief when they realized there was an accessible path to recovery. By the time Daichi was twenty-one, Sugawara Koushi, his guardian angel, was already in love with him.

Of course, the pleasant presence wasn’t the only one. Daichi’s personality attracted many, so of course it attracted people in a romantic way. His looks, of course, didn’t hurt. Still, Daichi had never lasted long in relationships because he tended to his studies first, to his family and friends second, to his romantic interest third, and to himself last, while most people were used to the order being reversed. He had not dated anyone in two years, although this was mostly because his last date, a girl by the name of Yui, had introduced him to equality groups. It started with feminism, and for two years, he had immersed himself into every pro-equality group he could reach. He was present in every rally he could get to, vehemently demanding that everyone received fair treatment, voicing his thoughts even if no one heard him.

He was leading a small group of college students in their effort to protest the violence others suffered when simply voicing their thoughts when a car came speeding towards them.

“Sawamura!” Someone screamed, trying to warn their leader that the car was going to hit him, but no one noticed on time. The last thing he heard, however, was not the scream of his underclassman, but the warning of a voice that seemed so familiar, a hand reaching out to him, trying to push him out of harm’s way, a warm yet worried “Daichi!” The hand, slower than the voice, had not been able to reach him in time. Daichi made a mental note to describe it once more, for now he knew it was real, but he would forget the creamy white hands that seemed so smooth, so soft to the touch…

There was much Daichi forgot. He forgot, for example, how he had gotten to the very white room that night. Unlike the hand and the presence behind him, the white felt sick instead of soothing. Hospitals are often inhospitable environments, disease and death hovering close no matter where in there you go. Daichi, however, could not even register where he was. He was dizzy. Colors spun around him. Mostly red and black and greys, and then the sickening white. Still, he wasn’t conscious enough to process his dislike for the whole process. He felt voices around him, but they were much the same as the colors: distorted, they made no sense, and they only made him dizzier. He could not pinpoint any pain, and yet he knew something hurt. Everything felt surreal, but he clung to the fact that he had much to do. 

What was it that he had to do? 

In the blur of dizzy images and dancing colors, he thought he vaguely saw a smile. A woman’s lips, and then the smile faded. Had it been his mother? His mother for whom he was striving to finish school. His mother whom he needed to help out now that his father had died; how could his mother possibly keep the house in place? He needed to finish school. Why wasn’t he in class? What time was it? Such thoughts formed, but these thoughts were still not coherent enough for him to take in the world around him. 

He knew he had to leave, though.

Eventually the colors and voices stopped. After what felt like hours, he saw a man come to greet him. He was full of light - his hair was a cream color, his skin almost like porcelain and yet definitely warmer. His eyes shone with that warmth.The man was dressed casually; light blue pants and a yellow shirt, so he looked like he was the sky itself. A worried expression was tight on his face, and Daichi only wished he would smile. Despite never seeing the man before, he could feel a certain familiarity about him, and seeing him comforted his thoughts.

“Tough situation, huh?” The man’s voice was as soft as his features. Daichi tried to answer, but found he couldn't move his mouth. He found he couldn't move anything at all - he didn’t feel a mouth to move or a hand to look at to make sure he was real. It was as if he was watching a movie, the scene unfolding in front of him while he was unable to interact with it. This made him feel uneasy, but most of all, sad. The man in front of him was worried, and though he was only a spectator, Daichi knew that the man was worried because of him. His hair looked fluffy and inviting, soft and his cheeks warm to touch. He wanted to touch his hair, glide his hand to feel his cheek. The man smiled. 

“It’s nice to be able to talk to you. They don’t really give us a voice, you know? We’re just here, most of the time unable to do anything. We can’t have any contact with the ones we protect. We can plead Fate to have mercy on you, we can influence others’ thoughts to have pity on you, and we can suggest to take a break.”

He paused for a second, smiling and then letting out a laugh like clouds. 

“You almost never listen.”

“But doctor, he will wake up, right?”

Dizzy colors once more, Daichi had been removed from the screening of the relaxing movie. What was the movie about? His head hurt, his thoughts spinned. A blue sky… flowers, perhaps? A field of flowers? It seemed cliche, but it had left a sort of ache for it in him, as well as a feeling of comfort. 

“Daichi!” A girl’s voice. 

He tried his best to focus until he was able to recognize Yui’s face. She was pale, her bob a little messy. Eyebags under her eyes, Daichi could only assume she looked like that because of him. He tried to speak. How long had he been unconscious? What had happened? He opened his mouth, but felt it hurt him. He could feel he was dehydrated; his lips crinkled when he tried to move his mouth. He didn’t bother to try again. He might be able to feel his body, but he was still a spectator.

“Why would you wish to come back here?” 

Daichi opened his eyes, not having realized he had closed them. He saw the man again, this time wearing the light blue pants with a grey long-sleeve buttoned shirt. The contrast it created with his cream-colored features made it seem severe. He had his arms folded, his mouth in a frown. 

“I understand that it might be difficult. I know it is. You have to fight to stay alive. You can’t just give up!” The man stopped. Daichi wanted to hug him, but again he was only the audience to a movie.

He didn’t like this movie.

The man laughed a little. He cupped his face in his hands, rubbing his temples before he looked at Daichi again, smiling. “I want to be with you. That is, I don’t want to lose you. I want to see you succeed. I want to see you grinning, I want to see you helping the amount of people I know you can. I want to see you well. So please, get better. Live. I don’t want to see you here again! Now go, go, go!” 

Once again, Daichi was bombarded with white. Hospital white. There was no one around. A loud and offending sound hurt his ears. He tried to move his head, but found it was constrained. Why did he even bother? 

In the relative silence, he was allowed to think.

The last thing he remembered.

A flower field with blue skies. No, it was likely that had been a dream. Clouds. A dream, too. What was the last real thing he remembered, then? Who had been in the room last time? Yui. Yui had been here. What had she said? He couldn’t remember. Why was Yui here, anyway? She was worried about him. Her skin was pale and she had eyebags, as if she hadn’t slept. Daichi remembered she would get eyebags when they stayed studying into the morning back in high school, and she would always insist on curing it with a good, varied breakfast. She was really good at making food really fast. Once they entered college, she was a hurricane, making food for the hundreds of students who would stand outside making a ruckus. She was always there, handing out sandwiches or warm drinks for those who would stand up against inequality. 

Right.

He had been in a protest himself.

It had been nighttime. He… he had organized it himself. Right. It was a protest against police violence. It was a large group, mostly university students, but he recalled people who were no longer students supporting him. And then someone had called his name, and he saw lights speeding at him. A car. A car had crashed into him. That would explain his inability to move. What exactly had broken? If the injuries were minor, he could have surgery and go back to studying. If he faced paralysis, then he would have a hard time becoming a doctor himself. And yet he was certain he had been very close to dying. Perhaps he could still die. He was studying to become a doctor but he couldn’t even properly analyze what exactly was wrong with him. The irony of it all made him want to laugh. It was almost certain he had experienced some sort of chest trauma. Depending on how fast the car had went, and depending on whether or not he had hit something afterwards, his internal organs might be mush. He really wasn’t sure.

He had questions. 

Would he be able to become a doctor?

Why was nobody here?

Could he just go back to school?

So many questions.

“You really do like it here, don’t you?” 

The man was really close this time. He was sitting on a wooden rocking chair, a table in front of him. Now he was in a field of flowers. Yellow daisies. The sky was blue. He could almost smell him. Daichi realized that now he felt. He was sitting on a chair himself, parallel to the man, but his viewpoint didn’t quite match where his eyes should be if he was really sitting parallel to him. The whole thing was dream-like, and so Daichi assumed that he was dreaming.

“You’re not.”

Daichi felt his head turn around, but his viewpoint didn’t shift. If anything, now what he saw matched where his eyes should be.

“This isn’t a dream per se, but it’s nice of you to think of it as one. The fact that you’re here so young means I haven’t done a great job, and the fact that there’s a manifestation of you means that I’m doing a terrible job. This is only our fault. I should be better at convincing you to live, and you should have more willpower to do so. Your injuries are pretty bad of course. Your spine is fractured, so yes, you do have chest trauma. You’re surviving, though, and you can live. They’re exploring surgery. You have pretty high chances of survival and a pretty good recovery. That is, if that’s what you want.” 

The man got up. 

“Stop. My name is Sugawara Koushi.”

He laughed. 

“Actually, Suga is fine.” 

Suga observed him. Standing in front of Daichi while the latter sat, Suga seemed pretty tall. Suga seemed really pretty. Daichi was pretty sure Suga was the prettiest person he had ever seen. He leaned closer to Daichi, eyes challenging eyes. Suga hit him in the head. It wasn’t a hard blow, but it was strong enough to cause some pain. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

The pain from the little knock was nothing compared to the pain when he woke up. The gravity of it all hit Daichi like a truck. Well, a truck might have killed him, so perhaps the pain only hit him as severely as the car that had run into him. His chest felt completely sore, his legs cold, heavy and aching. His head hurt as if he had a migraine, and his neck felt like he had been sleeping on the worst position he could think of for twenty days straight. He moved his eyes around, noticing a little whiteboard to his left. With his limited angle, his headache and the disturbing amount of white light, he was hardly able to read, but the forms of the letters looked a lot like the words “surgery.”

He wasn’t impressed.

Nothing around him told him how long it had been since the accident. Depending on which hospital he was taken to, the decision to have surgery could have taken two hours or two days. As far as he could see, there were no windows in the room, but he did notice a bouquet of flowers and several balloons, no doubt having “Get Well Soon!” printed on them with cheerful colors. Did Daichi even want to do that? He felt as if someone had made him doubt his disposition for life. 

For the duration of it, he had worked hard. He had tried his best to earn stellar grades as soon as, in Junior High, he had decided to become a doctor. He had always helped his mother, and he loved volunteering. He lived to see others smile. He thrived knowing that he was working for someone else. Had he ever truly done something for himself? Had he really been enjoying life? If he had always been living his life for others, then it made sense that he wasn’t so keen on going back to that same life. A sense of duty kept him alive, then, not a passion or desire to live. It was sad, but there was nothing Daichi could do about it. Even if he were completely cured, he knew that he couldn’t live life for himself. He didn’t know how to. He would go back, keep studying, buy his mom a better house, hopefully earn enough to be able to hire a maid he could pay respectably so his mother didn’t need to work herself off to keep the house. He would work to help others get better, and make sure to give his family a better life. He had never thought about himself, and he was sure that he wouldn’t start now. 

His life had been perfect. His mother had been loving. His friends had been fun. His teachers had been helpful, his girlfriends caring and kind. His whole life had, Daichi was sure, been perfect. The perfection, though, didn’t attract him. He wanted to help others! He wanted to see their smiles, and know that he had helped them form! 

But he was tired. He was tired of working hard. 

He felt bad about it, but he was tired. 

He didn’t really want to live.

Daichi closed his eyes. He felt a breeze, a pleasant smell. He felt a different kind of light unable to be completely blocked by his eyelids. 

Opening them to find no pain disturbing him, he felt a smile on his face. He recognized this place. A field of yellow daisies and an open blue sky. He looked around to find a wooden rocking chair and a table.

Wait.

He looked around again. 

There should be something else here.

At twenty-one years of age, Sawamura Daichi had given up on life. He had lived a perfect, and yet tired and selfless existence, and had decided to give it up to finally be happy and at peace. With… himself? 

He recognized the place he was in. A field of yellow daisies and an open blue sky. A wooden rocking chair and a table. It was familiar, and yet it was alien. He felt warmth on his skin from the sun, his eyes basking on the soft light and his nose delighted by the smell carried by the breeze. Everything was pleasant, and yet nothing was right.

 

 

_No me dejes solo, que me perdería_

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes okay so sorry for anyone who was hoping they somehow got together. The little italics are a prayer in Spanish - a thing to one's guardian angel. It translates to "my guardian angel, my sweet companion, don't forsake me by day or by night. Do not leave me alone, for I will get lost." It's something I was told to recite every night when I was younger, and honestly, it's a cute little thing that will always remind me of my childhood, so I thought it would add a bit of nostalgia to the thing. I realize that's lost for many. Anyway, thanks for reading^^


End file.
